Hugs or Kisses
by Misster. K
Summary: It’s a relief that his tongue can’t get all muscular like his arms [ZoLu]


**Author's Note: **Four days to go before Christmas! Although this fic has no Christmas scenes in it, it's dedicated for the holiday where big fat man wearing red clothes gives presents to people! LOL

Anyways it has been awhile since I made a ZoLu, go easy and enjoy the humor

**Hugs or Kisses**

**By Ms.K**

"Ne, Luffy which one do you prefer, hugs?" Usopp stressed his question by hugging himself. "Or kisses?" And made a couple of 'chu' sounds as he kissed the air. They were sitting in the front deck of Going-Merry-Go. It was a sunny and peaceful day; a day where everybody became so bored they started doing or asking random stuffs, like what Usopp and Luffy were doing now.

"Mmmmm" Luffy made a confused pout as he thought hard. Usopp was waiting for the answer impatiently until he remembered something.

"Ahh… I'm sorry Luffy… A man of food like you would never truly understand what I mean…" He was faking a cry as he put both hands on his captain's shoulder. "It's okay, I truly understand. Even though you are almost as old as us you have never been kissed" nod nod "It's okay, it's never your fault Luffy"

The captain looked at his third mate confusedly. "What are you saying Usopp? Of course I've been kissed and hugged!"

His statement raised an interest from the navigator and the cook. Even Robin glanced up from her book.

Usopp gave him an I-don't-believe-what-you-just-said look and raised one eye brow cockily. "Then answer my question"

"And you have to give Usopp the reason too" Shouted Nami from the upper deck. Luffy looked up and pouted.

"No fair! This stuff is between me and Usopp only!" Luffy shouted. The navigator grinned naughtily, rested her elbow on the white railing and stared down at her captain.

"Why don't you just admit that you are a virgin Luffy?"

Twitch "AM NOT" Luffy retorted, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"You're not! You mean you have had sex!" Usopp shouted so loud that this little interesting piece of information leaked out to the entire crew. His eyes were bulging so big, it was at least 3 cm out of its socket. Sanji stopped cooking and dropped a cigarette. Chopper spilled his medicines. Zoro woke up and smacked his face. Robin closed her book and walked over to the sulking captain and Nami's grin stretched from ear to ear.

Within minutes everyone had sat down across Luffy, all their eyes fixed on him.

"Unbelievable… and here I thought I was the only one with experience" A crooked cigarette was lit.

"Maa, looks can indeed be deceiving" Nico Robin lightly chuckled. The rest of them chuckled nervously with Robin.

"Now we all know that our captain here is not a virgin anymore, which I personally think is impossible but… yeah. Anyways! The question, no the real question asked by the Great Usopp-sama is…" The shooter paused dramatically. "Kiss or hug?"

"I think he likes sex more than just kiss or hug Usopp. Since he's been to heaven already" The cook grinned pervertly as he exhaled a long trail of gray smoke into the air.

"Shut up Sanji-kun! Let him answer" A twirling Sanji, with heart-shaped eyes happily shut his mouth. Nami smirked and turned to Luffy "Saa, Luffy which one, kiss or hug?"

"Mmmmmm… Kisses are better" The captain finally answered after a long thought. Several 'Really….?' And 'I knew it' were heard.

"Why is it, Senchou-san?" Robin asked with the usual smile on her face.

"Well, you know how Zoro trained so hard that his body became all muscular and stuff. When he hugged me even though it's warm it's not soft. But it's different when he kisses me! Cause it's soft and warm. It's a relief that his tongue can't get all muscular like his arms" Luffy grinned and turned to his first mate, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. "That's why, don't exercise too much Zoro! Play with me instead!"

All of them, except Robin gasped and had their jaws on the floor. Robin just smiled and gladly watched the trembling Zoro who unsheathed all his swords and screamed.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!"

And Luffy laughed.

**End**

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